sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
