Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
