I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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