better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
When are your genitals available?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
