after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
