Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
