I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
