My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
This is the high leading the old right now
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
