The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I did not marry a roomba.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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