so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
