We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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