In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
