if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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