i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
