True but thats because hes a fetus.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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