You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
