Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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