OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize