Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
