I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
