Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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