I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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