Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
