I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
