Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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