dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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