I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
