So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
