After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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