She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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