i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Is Oprah even human
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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