After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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