That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
