so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
