Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
