He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
