He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
