Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
