Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I want her autograph on my taint
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
