hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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