This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
