omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
