I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Randomize
