I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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