I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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