She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
