Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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