dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
