D3 body, D1 cock
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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