you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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