Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
