Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
